


Communication

by Genuinelies



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Friendship, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 03:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15379668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genuinelies/pseuds/Genuinelies
Summary: A Sirius Black coming-out fic."The lot of them cracked up, Remus included.Watching his reserved friend laugh so hard he cried at a prank, his eyes sparkling and mouth stretched awkwardly around the lines that were more used to turning down than up, Sirius finally realized he was buggered."





	Communication

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Marauders-era fic, so I hope it turned out all right :)

“No, that will never work.” Remus brushed his lips with the tip of his quill as he thought, and Sirius watched as the fine threads of the feather were moved by his breath.

Sirius blinked a moment later.

“Nearly-Headless Nick,” Sirius said with a quick snap of his fingers. “That’s what we’re missing. No distractions in this plan, Moony, and what we need is a good distraction.”

“Right!” Remus perked up. He reached up and ran his hand through his soft-looking brown hair, getting a drop of ink on his forehead in the process. Sirius watched as it started a slow descent over the other boy’s skin and began the arduous process of not doing anything in hopes Remus would notice and wipe it away. Remus sent a broad grin his way. “A bit bog-standard before, wasn’t it? Get…hm, James would be our best bet, since you’ll be busy with the exploding snap cards over by the Hufflepuff table…”

“Wotcher Padfoot, Moony,” James Potter, the devil himself, jumped onto the bed beside Sirius and Remus with a grin. “Budge up. What are you lads doing planning our biggest prank of the year without me?”

“You were in class,” Remus pointed out.

“And eyeball-deep in a certain redhead’s cleavage for the past hour,” Sirius muttered.

He got shoved for that, and none-too nicely, making him bounce off of Remus’ arm. Remus absentmindedly steadied him with a hand as he began jotting down more notes.

Dammit, the ink was still there, and it was going to drip into Remus’ eyes. Sirius reached over and swiped it off. Remus didn’t seem to notice, but James was watching him behind his spectacles with sharp eyes.

Irritably, Sirius rubbed the ink into Remus’ blanket.

“You know I don’t see her like that,” James said, then flushed so that his neck turned red. “I mean, I do, of course, but I’m respectful, Pads. You know that. She’s not just some…”

Sirius groaned and put his face into his elbow. “Please stop.”

“Not some…object…like that,” James finished doggedly. “She’s beautiful, I mean of course I like her cleavage, but…”

“Came at the wrong time, didn’t I?” Peter came to stand at the foot of the bed, books clutched to his chest with an amused if nervous smile on his face. He always had that look when he tried to join in the fun of picking on James’ weighty crush on one Lily Evans, as if he were afraid he’d be reprimanded for taking a bit of the piss.

Sirius barked out a laugh. “Good for you, Wormtail,” he said.

“Just finishing up the plans,” Remus said with a distracted smile.

“Ooh!” Peter plunked down on the mattress next to James and peered over his shoulder to look at what Remus had written. He bit his lip in concentration. “Well, that lot’s going to cost a bomb,” he murmured, but it was said with such awe that Remus grinned and Sirius puffed up proudly.

James snatched the parchment from Remus and began looking it over carefully, nodding and laughing intermittently until he held it up with a crow of satisfaction.

“This, boys,” he said, “This is going to be remembered for a year to come!”

“And get us a year’s worth of detention,” Peter muttered, but he was grinning too.

Sirius exchanged a pleased glance with Remus. His face, scarred from his once-a-month affliction, was rosy with the praise.

Remus had to look down at the mattress before Sirius realized he should probably have looked away first.

With a frown he didn’t show, Sirius hopped off the bed in a burst of energy. “This calls for a celebration! Raiding the kitchen, who’s in?”

James and Peter laughed, and Remus finally looked at him again with a quiet smile. They all clambered off the bed, and for the time being, Sirius shoved his thoughts where all his thoughts of actual wants and desires went, right into the pit of his stomach.

#

In the end, they decided to trick a first year into asking Nearly-Headless Nick if he found it convenient to still have his head attached just a little (because wouldn’t he worry about losing it otherwise?). The uproar _that_ caused (plus the tearful wailing of the first-year) was just enough that dungbombs were planted, exploding snap cards strategically distributed, and hexes cast on everyone unfortunate enough to have crossed the Marauders in the past year.

Somehow, they miraculously escaped the dining hall without getting caught, and that was even after the treacle tart landed on Dumbledore’s head.

“Oh,” he’d merely exclaimed, reaching up a finger and swiping some off to taste, “Most fortuitous. I must say I prefer this to a dollop of owl excrement.”

That is, they got away with it until that evening, when each Marauder was issued a month’s worth of detentions to be held separately.

“Worth it,” James guffawed, pushing up his glasses on his nose.

Peter looked ill, but whether from the detention or running on a full stomach, Sirius couldn’t say. Remus looked resigned, but the corners of his mouth were upturned tellingly.

“That Slytherin screaming so loudly his cat landed on his nads was a good touch,” Sirius deadpanned.

The lot of them cracked up, Remus included.

Watching his reserved friend laugh so hard he cried at a prank, his eyes sparkling and mouth stretched awkwardly around the lines that were more used to turning down than up, Sirius finally realized he was buggered.

#

“Mate,” Sirius said casually to James later that week, sitting on the bank of the lake with the sun dappling their skin, “Do you reckon there are some secrets that you just take to your grave?”

He skipped a rock across the lake, watching the ripples it made in its wake as James watched him. He pretended not to notice.

“I think,” James said slowly and too-seriously, “A good friend will share any truly juicy bits of gossip for the benefit of his best mates.”

Sirius snickered and shoved at his shoulder. “I’m being serious. And don’t think of saying it, I swear I’m going to hex you if you make that joke one more time.”

James thought a moment. “Once a week allowance,” he declared.

“Fine,” Sirius agreed amiably. “But you said it yesterday, so six days to go, mate.”

“Well,” James said, sobering, “Think about Remus. What state would he be in if he kept his darkest secret to himself? That was something he’d have kept quiet about till it killed him, don’t you think?”

James wasn’t meeting his eyes, but Sirius still had the feeling James was observing him closely.

Trying not to let his nervousness show, Sirius shrugged lackadaisically, but inside, he felt a little sick. He hated the thought that Remus Lupin, the kindest and most thoughtful bloke he knew, would have gone through horrific, painful transformations alone had they not discovered his furry secret and forced him to fess up.

Yet, somehow, he felt that involuntarily being turned into a werewolf might still seem a little cooler to his friends than, say, admitting he was having the urge to snog said werewolf willy-nilly. Lines had to be drawn, after all. His friends were a kind lot, but he felt even they had their limits.

“As I am the best of mates and the most upstanding member off the infamous House of Black,” Sirius proclaimed grandly, “I will of course whisper whatever valuable secrets that I stumble across. Reciprocation expected as due, of course.”

“Hm,” James said. Then, after a long, pregnant pause: “Do you reckon Lily will finally agree to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?”

“Tosser,” Sirius said absently. “Thought she was still put off by you getting stains on her clothes during our grand incident last week. Give it a few weeks, mate.”

“Oh, right,” said James.

#

“Where’s James and Pete?” Sirius asked with a frown, pressing his handkerchief into his forehead. Filch had him picking up candy wrappers and debris around the campus by hand, and he wasn’t entirely convinced that the cantankerous groundskeeper hadn’t put the litter out just for him. In fact, he was certain he had, because Filch would never have let the grounds get like that otherwise.

“Wanker,” Sirius muttered under his breath as an afterthought.

Regardless, the Whomping Willow had clocked him a good one, right over his left eye, and he had just stopped seeing stars a few moments before.

“I need them to help plan our revenge on Filch,” he added more loudly for Remus’ benefit.

“Detention−blimey, Pads!” Remus went from bored to alarmed in a heartbeat. He cast aside his quill and hurried across the room to Sirius. “What happened to you?”

“Also detention,” Sirius said bitterly.

“Ah,” Remus said, frowning heavily. He reached up, his cool fingers wrapping around Sirius’ own to pull his hand away from his face.

“A bit beyond my ability,” Remus added softly, his eyes travelling over Sirius’ face. “Sorry, Pads. Let’s get you to Pomfrey’s.”

Up close, Remus’ concern seemed to envelop him, making his throbbing skull fade into the background.

“…Pads?” Remus whispered. His pupils were wide, Sirius saw, and up close he could see the constellation of his freckles.

_What would it take?_ Sirius thought wildly. _What spell was there to turn him female instead of into Padfoot? What amortentia-sourced potion would make_ Remus Lupin _fall for a male Black?_

The thought was sobering.

Remus was too good for him, even if he did manage to grow the right bits and parts.

It was only the sting of blood in his eyes that made Sirius blink, breaking the strange, hazy silence he and Remus had mutually fallen into.

“I think I’m concussed, mate,” Sirius laughed raucously, rubbing his eye and feeling the smear of blood he accidentally wiped across his face.

“Easy, now,” Remus murmured with a half-smile. “I’m sure she’ll fix you up fast, because now you look like you’ve been mauled. Merlin, Sirius, use your handkerchief.”

#

“Snivellus Snape,” Sirius announced portentously, sliding onto the bench beside Peter and stealing a chip off of James’ plate.

“What’s he done?” James leaned forward interestedly.

“He’s bent,” Sirius announced, heart hammering wildly in his chest as he tossed shiny black hair out of his eyes. “How’s that for gossip?”

It didn’t get him the reaction of disgust he’d feared or gleeful schadenfreude he’d expected. Peter hunched over his plate so far that his nose nearly dipped in his vinegar, and Remus looked coolly at him while James just frowned in confusion.

“No, he’s not,” James said.

Sirius arched a perfectly-sculpted eyebrow.

“Come on now,” he complained. “Thought I’d get something out of you lot for that.”

His stomach was in his throat as he looked to his friends. Perhaps, he reconsidered, this had not been the most exemplary of ideas he’d had. He’d come up with it that morning; after all, if his friends had a problem with blokes who liked other blokes, what better way to test it out than to pin it on that weasel Snape? They all hated him anyway. No harm done either way. He hadn’t, however, expected the look of recrimination he was getting from James.

“Thought we’d agreed to leave Severus be,” Remus said, prefect voice turned up full force, though it was still hissed under his breath.

“He’s been chasing after Lily, that snot-faced wanker, since forever,” James said. “So where would you get it into your head that he was a shirt-lifter?”

Sirius shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly. For some reason, James’ eyes flicked to Remus, then his jaw set almost angrily.

“Not on, Pads,” James said, his voice quiet. “I know your family was a bit…wankerish, about everything, but thought you’d left that all behind.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sirius bristled.

Remus’ face was tense. “It is illegal…out there, in the muggle world.”

James turned to him. “Is it really?” He looked shocked, and strangely sympathetic.

Remus shrugged a shoulder.

“Nothing,” James added, turning back to Sirius. “Just…” He bit his lip, looked as if he were going to say something, then shut his mouth. Sirius suspected that he’d changed what he was going to say entirely by the time he spoke again. “Look, it’s just that you know there’s rumors Dumbledore himself is a bit bent, don’t you?”

“What?” Even Peter joined in with Remus’ and Sirius’ chorus.

“Yep,” James said. “And we’re loyal to him, no matter what, aren’t we lads? Doesn’t matter to me how he likes it.” James shuddered. “And I don’t much want to think about that again, thank you.”

“Suppose we are,” Sirius said slowly.

“Course we are,” Peter said with surprising vehemence, but he didn’t meet anyone’s eyes.

“Excuse me,” said Remus, looking faintly ill. “Just…must have been a bad pasty.” He shoved back from the table and left abruptly.

When Sirius stopped watching Remus retreat in abject confusion and turned back, James was glaring at him.

“What are you playing at?” He asked coldly.

“What?” Sirius blinked in honest surprise.

James’ face softened. He frowned slightly. “Right. Well. We need to talk, Pads, now. Excuse us, Pete.”

“Right,” said Peter, looking miffed and a bit hurt.

“Oh, Pete can come with,” Sirius said offhandedly, knowing full well what James Potter intended when he looked like that. Which was to say, a bit too much like his bitch of a mother.

“Uh,” Peter said, looking between them. “Actually, erm. Still a bit peckish. Catch you later, mates.”

“Good lad,” James said approvingly, giving Sirius a long look, then marched out of the hallway.

“Not my mother, Potter,” Sirius muttered, and stalked toward the exit on the opposite side of the room. He had enough on his mind without a self-righteous speech from his best friend.

#

As a result of Sirius’ poor life choices, he was treated to a silent treatment special from James for the rest of the week, and halfway into the week after that. Worse than that, Remus had also made himself scarce, and Pete, while generally enjoyable, was still third-tier, if he were honest.

Sirius supposed he should be relieved that his friends refused to pick on even their worst enemy for being a shirt-lifter, but it just made him feel guilty, and he’d never suffered that graciously. Instead, his guilt hardened into a hot, hard coal of anger that he took out on Slytherins, unlucky first-years, and any rocks he stumbled upon on the Hogwarts grounds.

He was currently in the process of booting a piece of stone down the sixth-year hallway in between his Potions and Transfigurations classes when it was chucked back at him with such force that he had to dodge to keep from being knocked in his sensitive bits with it.

“Oi−” he snarled, but trailed off when he looked up, catching sight of his own brother Regulus staring him down with a particularly unpleasant-looking Snivellus in tow.

“I have heard,” Snape drawled, “That you,” he paused, flicking the sleeve of his robe back to reveal his wand, “Have been spreading /rumors/ about me, Black.”

Sirius sniggered incredulously.

Beside Snape, Regulus looked grim. Sirius resisted sticking his tongue out at him.

“You make it easy,” Sirius leered, his haughty heritage brought forth under Regulus’ watchful eye. “And, since there’s quite a lot of rumors about you, care to tell me which one was so successful? So I can pat myself on the back, you know how it is.”

Snape turned his nose up.

“I find it curious,” he said disdainfully, “If _I_ were in your… _situation,_ I might not call so much… _attention_ …to myself.”

Sirius clenched his hands, then drew his wand with a flourish.

“Care to translate ‘prat’ for me, Reggie?” Sirius taunted.

Regulus kept quiet. Snape smirked. The two boys with them, who up until this point Sirius had been steadfastly ignoring as nobodies, smiled greasily.

“ _Expelliarmus.”_

Sirius’ wand shot from his hand. The spell, when it came, had unexpectedly come from Regulus, not Sirius, making Sirius’ own spell ineffective.

“You bloody traitor!” Sirius yelled at his brother, and unwisely lunged at him with the intent of punching his stupid, Slytherin-brained lights out.

“I am not the traitor.” Regulus turned his nose up, just as their father did.

Sirius saw red, but Snape had stepped aside and his two bloody _henchmen_ grabbed Sirius’ arms, shoving him against the wall and prying his mouth open as he struggled. Terrified, he had no choice but to choke down what Snape then poured down his throat.

Snape leaned in close. “We’ll see who the _shirt-lifter_ really is, Black,” he sneered. “How the mighty fall. To their _knees,_ as it were.”

He stepped back, and smiled. “Well, _Black?_ ”

Regulus had already turned and was walking quickly away from him. Sirius glared impotently at the lot of them.

Snape bared his teeth. “It’s not me, so who is it, then?”

“I don’t want to have anything in common with you,” Sirius bit out. “So it’s a good thing you’re not.”

There was a moment of silence in the hallway. The two meaty boys holding him dropped him to the floor, each with a kick for good measure. They all had wands and he was unarmed, or he would have attacked them for that.

Sirius picked himself up with as much dignity as he could muster as Snape’s eyebrows rose into his hairline.

The other boys seemed too dim to understand what Sirius had meant, but Sirius himself was flushing miserably.

“Not _what_ , Black?” Snape called gleefully. “What are _you_ that I’m _not?_ Specifically, what did you _lie_ about?”

“Bent! Sirius cried, intending to tell Snape to get bent, but the words just reshaped themselves in his lips. He’d intended to say a lot of other things, actually, any other thing, in fact, than that.

His announcement was met with a gale of nasal laughter mixed with guttural roars of surprised, malicious humor.

His face on fire and his stomach tight with fury and fear, Sirius fled.

#

Snivellus, Sirius had decided, was going to pay a high, heavy price for what he had done to him. Still wonky from what had to have been a dose of veritaserum that Snape had given to him, Sirius had gone back to his thankfully-empty dorm room to throw a massive fit. When he’d calmed down from that, mostly, he’d begun throwing his things into his trunk.

“I’m going to hex him,” Sirius exclaimed, then punched a wall, because he’d intended to say he’d _kill_ Snape. The truth serum was still in effect, it seemed. “Bollocks! Bugger! Shit! Fuck!”

“Developed a sudden case of Tourette’s, have we?”

An amused voice broke into Sirius’ tirade from the direction of the doorway.

“No,” Sirius snapped. “I just realized that I can’t hex Snape without my bloody _wand!_ ”

Sirius turned with mortification to see Remus approach, an indecipherable expression on his features.

“This bloody wand?” Remus held up, miraculously, Sirius’ wand.

“That’s the one! Bless you, Moony.” Sirius tried to grad it, but Remus held it just out reach above his head. Damn his height.

“Found it in the hallway on my rounds,” Remus commented, his voice oddly cautious.

“Great,” Sirius said with confusion, frowning. “So give it here.”

“Finder’s keepers.” Remus raised an eyebrow, then pointedly looked behind Sirius to where his trunk was open, clothes spilling haphazardly out of it. “Going somewhere?”

“Yes.” Sirius scowled at his truthful answer. “What are you playing at, Moony? Give me my wand.”

Remus considered him for a moment, then gave it to him with a sigh.

“So where are you going?” He asked, sounding tired.

“Anywhere but this place, it’s full of wankers,” Sirius muttered, turning on his heel to go back to stuffing his trunk.

His heart clenched at the thought, but it was better than losing his friends outright. In the hours since Snape’s confrontation, he’d come to the conclusion that he was Sirius Orion Black, of the noble House of Blacks, and if he was bent, then he would bloody well make it work for him. The world would just have to deal.

Yet, on the other hand, James hadn’t spoken to him for days already, Peter had been scuttling about like the rat he could turn into, and Remus had been outright avoiding him. With the whole school about to be buzzing with the gossip that Sirius, playboy, rogue, and Marauder, was a shirt-lifter, it just seemed like a good time to cut his losses. He’d had a legendary run of it.

“London, maybe,” he decided, cursing the veritaserum in his veins with a wince and throwing a spell at the trunk to make it shut properly.

_God, Moony,_ he begged silently. _Stop asking questions._

He decided quickly that Glasgow was probably the better option.

“You’re awfully curious for someone who hasn’t spoken to me in a week,” he commented snidely instead.

“You know,” Remus said conversationally, “I was going to come here and have a chat about what you said about Snape a couple weeks ago, but this seems like it has a good story behind it. Why are we suddenly running away, Pads?”

“I…” Sirius bit his lip.

“Why haven’t you told any of us? What’s happened?” Remus looked concerned and angry.

“Because Snape, my own bloody brother, and their two−actually, I don’t know how Snape managed to find anyone to help him, Regs probably paid them off.” Sirius kicked the trunk viciously. It snapped back at his feet in retaliation. “They fucking gave me veritaserum, Moony. Whole bloody−”−He kicked the trunk, the trunk jumped at him−“−school knows by know that I bloody−”−he kicked the mattress, since the trunk was getting feisty−“−want to bloody snog−”

He’d never transformed into Padfoot before so fast in his life. He ended his sentence with a bark.

“Ah,” Remus said, and sat down heavily on Sirius’ bed’. “Well.”

Sirius nuzzled Remus’ knee, because he could. Remus scratched him absentmindedly behind his ears, and Sirius didn’t even bother pretending not to like it as much as he did.

“Well,” Remus coughed again. “Well. I hope the lucky girl isn’t Lily, Pads, because I can’t think who else you wouldn’t want us knowing about. James will murder you.”

Sirius huffed in disapproval. Remus gave him a slightly sad smile, throwing him off. He cocked his head in question.

"Don't do that," Remus said with a sideways smile that looked pained. "I'm quite mad at you, you know."

Sirius sat down and thumped his tail once in confusion. Remus put his hand over Sirius' nose in what seemed like a thoughtless gesture, but knew was Remus instinctively knowing what a power play was to a dog. 

_Actually mad, then,_ Sirius thought. And of course, he would be too, if one of the others had begun packing their trunk to leave behind his back. It had just…seemed like the thing to do at the time. Now that Moony was beside him again, though, and talking to him, he didn’t really want to go anywhere else.

"You can't just up and leave us when we have a row, Pads," Remus said at last. He turned troubled eyes to Sirius. "I know that maybe you're not used to this, people not forgiving you right away, that is, when you’re a right twat to them. I’ve often wondered what it’s been like to have your good looks and reputation, Pads. Seems like you get away with everything, just effortlessly.”

Sirius barked once, because seriously, fuck him. He and James hadn't really spoken to him in a long while just because of his dumb lie; was he just supposed to take that sort of treatment?

“But we're not going to abandon you forever. We're not your family. Or, we are your family, just how a family should be. All of you taught me that, you know. Have a little more faith in us than that."

Sirius shook his nose free and circled, still not understanding Remus’ train of thought, but hating that everyone was so mad at him. It was just _Snivellus._

It did make him think, though, that maybe if he told his friends he was the one who was bent, maybe it wasn’t such a big deal after all.

"I am sorry," Remus said softly. "You know the others are protective of me. You are too." He ruffled Sirius' head. "But I haven't been able to suss out why you said that about Snape and just expected us to...I'm not sure, but..."

Remus leaned back his elbows. "Probably better that you're Padfoot right now. But you should talk to James, before you decide to really leave. He's a prat, but you know that. He’ll…well, I’m…” Remus scrubbed at his face. “I really don’t know what you’re thinking, but I know I’m not the right person to have this conversation with you. Not if you were going to pin something like that on Snape for shits and giggles. Just don't...just don't leave us."

Sirius jumped on the bed next to Remus, then shifted back into his human form. "Why hasn't anyone been speaking to me then?"

Remus smiled at him, and it seemed sad. "James thought you were taking the piss out of me. I thought that, too, but honestly, the more I thought about it...were you?"

Remus suddenly seemed shy. 

Sirius frowned in confusion. "How?"

"Thought not," Remus murmured. He seemed strangely disappointed. "So. Who was it you wanted to snog so badly Snape hired lackeys to make you confess to it?"

"You," Sirius said, his heart pounding, because damn the inventors of veritaserum. He scanned Remus’ face, hoping that maybe−

Remus shot up from the bed, his face horrified. 

"Rem-"

"Fuck. You."

"Remus?" Sirius was scared. He didn't think he'd be accepted, but this sort of disgust Remus was showing was his worst nightmare.

“You were! Right, then. Everything else you could accept, but this−this is what you−” It was rare Remus was so angry he couldn’t complete his sentences, but apparently, knowing Sirius Black wanted to snog you was what did it to Remus. “I can’t believe you, Pads. I could understand rejection, disgust, but…making _fun_ of me for it is just cruel. And…honestly, I never thought you were cruel, Sirius.”

Remus turned on his heel and stalked out of their shared Gryffindor bedroom, almost running into the doorframe on his way out.

Sirius stared at the empty doorway, shell-shocked, and began turning over everything Remus had said.

#

“Prongs!”

Sirius skidded to a stop beside James, who was walking back from class beside Lily Evans, of all people. He looked between the two of them wildly. “…Lily,” he said much more coolly, giving her a cordial nod. “Prongs! I need to talk to you.”

“Can’t. It. _Wait._ Sirius,” James said with a smile through gritted teeth.

Sirius bounced on the balls of his feet. “It’s _important._ ”

He was terrified that Remus would come running to James, and Lily, now that he thought about it, was also Remus’ friend. He had a very short window of time before he was given the cold shoulder for yet another month, if not forever.

“Come to wail to me about how that rumor you started came back to bite you in the arse?” James asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Look, mate, Sni−” He glanced at Evans, who, for some insane reason, had been _friends_ with the snake, “ _Snape_ and his mates cornered me.”

James immediately went from snide to concerned.

“I’m okay!” He brushed him off.

James’ disdain slid back into place. Sirius figured he was playing it cool for Evans.

“Look, he just had his cronies−”

“Since when does Snape have _cronies_?” James’ eyebrows went up. That would, of course, be significant news, as it would place Snape under Marauders watch, but Sirius waved a hand.

“He gave me veritaserum, and…”

“Ah,” James said sagely. “Confessed to your sins? Said you’d started the lie?”

“ _No!”_ Sirius bit his lip. “Look, the _rumor_ that is…” he slid his gaze to Evans, then looked back at James. “Prongs, look. I know I fucked up. I just thought…” He lowered his voice. “I just _thought_ that starting off with that weasel would be the way to go. Then, if you _felt_ a certain way about people who were… _that way_ …it would wash off in the rain. But…”

“Lily, my sweet−” James started.

“I’m not your anything, Potter,” Lily said, but her voice wasn’t nasty, and there was a smile on her mouth. “This sounds important, though, so I’ll just…give the both of you some space, hm?”

She waved at James, who turned to Sirius after she was gone and jabbed him in the chest.

“You know I love you like a brother, Pads, but you’ve been pushing it lately. This had better be important!”

“Look, it is,” Sirius said quickly. “I think…I think I understand what’s happened here, and it’s all wrong. But I’m not going to…look, I think Moony’s right mad at me, and he may have a right to be, but…”

“He does have a right to be,” James agreed, but a crease appeared between his eyes. He tugged Sirius by the elbow between two columns so that they could talk more privately. “You really didn’t know?”

“ _No,”_ Sirius said breathlessly. “In fact, Prongs,”−here he squared up his shoulders, but they slumped again before he could get the words out−“ _In fact,_ this whole thing happened because…I’m bent, Prongs. I’m bent, I’m bent for Moony, and I was thinking…I don’t know what I should be thinking.” He ran a jittery hand through his hair and tugged at it, starting to pace.

James was silent for so long that he was finally forced to look over. To his surprise, James had an expression on his face that was _pitying._

“You thought we’d disown you,” he said.

“ _Yes,_ ” Sirius breathed.

James took two steps forward and tugged Sirius into his chest, slapping him on the back.

“That’s not going to happen, unless you become a death-eater,” James swore.

For a moment, Sirius buried his face into James’ shoulder and tried not to cry, because he might be bent, but he wasn’t a bloody pansy.

A dark chuckle came at the right of their shoulders.

“Well, well, well,” Snape’s oily voice said. “I suppose the _truth_ will come out, in the end.”

He was alone, this time, as James and Sirius parted to face him.

Sirius pulled his wand out as a small crowd gathered. He saw James’ hand twitch for his wand out of the corner of his eye, but then his friend’s eyes narrowed before his features softened into a happy smile.

James suddenly took Sirius’ hand. “Yep,” James said.

“ _What?_ ” Snape said.

“Yep,” James repeated, squeezing Sirius’ hand as Sirius levelled him with an incredulous stare. He raised a solitary eyebrow at Snape. “I suppose the truth does come out, in the end. What of it?”

“I…” Snape looked around at the crowd of onlookers. “Get out of my way!” He turned on his heel and pushed through the crowd.

James released his hand, and sniggered, “We’re still going to have to get him back for what he did to you.”

“Yeah, that wasn’t on,” Sirius said, still flabbergasted.

The show over, the students filed away whispering, but otherwise without fanfare.

James shrugged a shoulder at his look. “Evans knows I like her. This will just keep the other birds away, so win-win, how I see it.”

Sirius gave him a wan smile. James clapped him on the shoulder, sobering. “You need to go talk to Remus, mate. And I mean really talk.”

“Right,” said Sirius, his heart in his throat.

#

The sounds of snuffling stopped the second Sirius entered the Shrieking Shack, meaning that he was both right in his guess and had a lot more to apologize for than he’d thought. He crept up the stairs as Padfoot so that the hex, when it came, went above his head.

He shifted back into himself as soon as Moony’s eyes began to widen.

_“Pads?”_ Remus lowered his wand. “Get out of here.”

Sirius flinched, then instead began to pace. He felt Remus eyeing him warily.

“Look,” he began.

“ _Get out,”_ Remus growled. There were tear-tracks still on his face, and he scrubbed them off with a tattered sleeve.

Sirius closed his eyes against the image, and drew in a great breath.

“Look, I’ve been a wanker,” he said, peeking through a crack in his eyelids.

“What?” Remus lowered the wand.

“I’ve come to apologize to you, Moony,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry. I never−It really isn’t what you think.”

“Oh, so it’s not that you found out that I’m a faggot and have been taking the piss out of me passive-aggressively for weeks,” Remus stated flatly.

Sirius stopped pacing. “No!”

“Oh,” Remus said, his voice small. “This should be good.”

“Remus,” Sirius said, impatiently, “Back there, in the room, remember how I told you I was going to London?”

“Yes,” Remus said shortly.

“Would I have done that, if I _hadn’t still been under the effects of veritaserum?”_

It took Remus a long moment, but his eyes widened again. “…Oh.”

“Right,” Sirius nodded, happy he was finally getting it. “Maybe I’m not the bloke you want to snog, but…look, mate, this hasn’t been about you. It’s about me. I just finished speaking with James, and maybe the school might think we’re dating a bit, but−”

“What?” Remus looked like he might throw up.

“Right, best friend James!” Sirius gave a high, anxious laugh. “Moony, I’ve come to the realization that I want to snog you, which I said before, but it might need some clarification, because…look, the whole thing with Snape, I just…”

“You wanted to know how we felt about it. You could have just _asked_ , Pads.”

“I…” Sirius was honestly confused about that. Could he have just come out and _asked?_ He shrugged it off as a ridiculous thought.

When he looked back at Remus, the other was smiling with what looked like fondness. Sirius watched him hopefully.

“Communication,” Remus said finally, “Is a really important part of a relationship, Sirius.”

“…is it?” He asked.

Remus nodded solemnly.

Sirius cocked his head. “I wasn’t taking the piss out of you,” he said quietly.

“I know that now,” Remus said, then took a step forward.

Sirius took a nervous step back.

Remus smiled at him again, put his wand away, then reached out to cup Sirius’ cheeks. He held very still until Remus’ at last pressed his lips to his.

He parted his mouth gratefully. It was a long, long time before they stopped kissing.

When Remus pulled away, he was searching Sirius’ eyes with what looked like worry.

Sirius beamed exuberantly. “I can communicate,” he promised.

“I’ll believe that when I hear it, Pads,” Remus laughed. He tussled Sirius’ hair, and Sirius pounced for another kiss.

 

 

 

 


End file.
